Coming Clean
No one else can know,
my secret safe with only me,
yet paranoid at my transparency,
everyone must recognize my vices
that I just can’t live without,
taking over my body, my mind.
I’m caught in a bubble, seen by all,
chasing highs.
Deadly game that is played to tragic end,
and the hooked take the risk, always
addiction is the master,
instructions to self-destruct,
and I make sure
you don’t know my hiding places,
paraphernalia out of sight,
sudden excuses to leave tip you off,
and I overlook subtle clues
that you pass, just obvious enough
to let me know that you know,
and it squeezes your heart,
while my heart is numb.
Madcap behavior I can’t ignore forever,
I confess my violation of your trust,
You respond, “It’s about time.”
Feeling foolish I ask, “You’ve been waiting
for me to be ready to come clean?”
You respond with tear falling, “No, I’ve been waiting
for you to be ready to get clean.”
I don’t know how to do this,
the insidious obsession feels impossible to beat,
and now seeking clean life,
I’ve never faced a more difficult fight.
