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Bright age of 16, year 11 ahead
them gcses staring down at me
im dead
poppin pillies like they were harmless
but struggled with depression regardless
silently slipping away
your heartless some may say
but you take those drugs to stop the world from going grey
as ofcourse theyre not as addictive as u say
im just conflicted
after all sexual assault aint fun when you’re the victim
ur gonna get done in by the system
i already have that wisdom
but now
all these shadows of my past
running fast running fast
problems here problems there
ill take a break anyday
in any way
even if that means throwin my life away

Bright age of 16, year 11 ahead them


What was once a clear running stream. A stream surrounded by beauty and life
Trees grew tall and spread their wings to protect their young from the suns piercing rays and in the winter would shed to make a colorful blanket to protect them from the bitter cold.
Then came the wildlife
Birds singing, Butterflies dancing, Bees humming, followed by the sound of Nature’s bandleader..
The Mighty Lumberjack!!
Schools of fish splashing and playing as they make their way upstream.
Peace and serenity fill this tranquil place yet a silent but deadly venom lies just beneath the surface.
A venom so powerful it can neither be conquered or contained.
Then one day it happened
The skies began to darken and the stars began to quarrel. Lashing out at one another and shaking the earth as they fell.
Trees toppled, wildlife fled, an evil silence replaces the heavenly sounds of nature!
Soon a tear was all that was left of the stream.
A tear reflecting a memory of the past and an image of the future.

‼️‼️ADDICTED‼️‼️ What was once a clear running stream.

All this arguing and depression has really taken its toll…. so let’s leave it in the past and keep making memories that last, I know you’ll be my last but will I be your last?
I can’t imagine this life without you as this life would be empty, being with you has made the emptiness pass.
Life is fast, and love is slow so let’s stay together and allow us to grow.
Those feelings of jealousy, anger and hate was a stupid mistake….. I just wanted to say you was never a mistake or a second option for me. You make my life worth living as long as we stay free from the consequences of drugs that destroy us to our knees. We have big responsibilities now and little faces that look to us with glee, and that’s why we need to continue living a life that’s happy and free.

All this arguing and depression has really

A drink can only fool you
A pill will only lie,
To say “Here is happiness for a while
But in return your heart will die”,
One sip and you’ll be fooled
dancing into night
but once the morning light is blazing
even sunshine will seem like a bitter dogs bite,
A hit may leave you smiling
but once it starts to fade
darkness may seem safer
so what’s the point in escaping
the life we are supposed to make?
A sip will mask you in confidence
a pill will make you fake
pretending you are cool now
but leave your hands with tremors & shakes,
For a few hours you’ll seem perfect
like all sorrow is a lie
but once the feeling disappears
tomorrow will simply cry.
why not live with all the empty
and fill your heart with words
for to escape the pain entirely
is to become, in exchange, your hurt.

A drink can only fool you A pill

To swallow
Without the hint of bitterness Relief
After all these winters
A tiny moon
A savior pinched between finger tips, Careful to drop it
Careful to lose it.
It rests on the tongue Dissolved
A hint of bitterness
Is the hero coming? Soon…
The train begins to slow
A cape handed on exit
The hero
He likes this version of himself. Is this real?
A pill this bitter
Easy to swallow
Noone likes this person Villain…
What is inside this silver treasure? Pop!
He likes this version
The train is broken
The tunnel imploded
Nobody liked this journey anyway Black…
Blue moon
An answer beacons. Another
The hero is stranded Villain…
The sun has risen
A hero and a villain Departed.
A version everybody likes How he will be missed. Peace.
It is over.
And Blue…

To swallow Without the hint of bitterness Relief After

– [ ] He stumbles about as if he’s lost in the dark set out in search for an ointment to heal his broken and beaten heart. Pill by pill hit by hit just more more drink until he’s lit. Slowly dies the man he was. The man she knew the man she loved. Nothing of him she remembers to be the same. Only this man carries his name. His body brittle fragile weak. His eyes empty hollow blank. The smile he used to wear turned to an evil smirk, under the pain continues to lurk. Only if he could set his past free, a beautiful life awaits him she prayed for him to see. Instead she sits waiting for him to come home. Knowing that day will never come. She thought for sure she could save him with the love that filled her heart, but now she is left torn apart…

- [ ] He stumbles about as

The Spirit

Author: Adrian P.

He is

With me
In my place of

He is
With me
Through the most

He is here
In comfort
With me
In addiction.


He is here with
My family
And one lover
My ‘real’

Person is

The Spirit Author: Adrian P. He is Here. With me In my

Author: Megan K.

Sober Struggle

Down I fall,

It grips me tighter.

My soul forgot,

That I’m a fighter.

It hides until I’m

Idle thinking.

I thought it stopped,

When I stopped drinking.

But it lurks around,

The corner store.

It doesn’t strike,

Until it’s sure.

That every piece,

Is set in place.

To distract me from,

My new found faith.

To remind me that,

It’s here to stay.

No matter how

I choose to pray.

This deamon will not

Leave my side.

But I’ll never run

Away to hide.

Behind the booze,

Or a drug house chair.

God will show me,

He is there.

Falling on my

Bended knees.

They say the bad

Will come in threes.

I’ve counted more,

Throughout my time.

I think God thought,

I needed nine.

These sober days

Have filled my soul.

A diamond made,

From pressured coal.

Rough days come,

I lose my sight.

If I reach out,

He’ll shine a light.

I’ll follow it,

And find my way.

My God is Love,

Amen, I pray.


Author: Megan K. Sober Struggle Down I fall, It grips

Author: Chris G.

Gonna be a problem.

From the second you entered my body,
And swept through like a warm soothing wave.
I knew instantaneously,
You were gonna be a problem,
I laid down in pain when I’d go without your embrace,
Feeling a dire sense of relief the moment I got a taste,
Being surrounded by many in the same situation,
All different,
Yet the same we were all in drug nation,
Some of us past and didn’t come back,
While those left behind talking like it was nothing while taking hits of crack,
All aware of how this fucking nightmare could end,
Unable to get past the drugs being our one and only friend,
This problem of mine leading only to death,
Never stopped me from stopping even til my almost last breath,
Been dead now too many times to reflect about,
I have to pull away Problem you can’t keep me in doubt,
It pains me to walk away from those ‘good times’ we had,
But reality of it is those ‘good times’ were truly all bad,
I miss you sometimes the way you hugged me within,
Til I think of how much of me you had actually taken,
So middle fingers raised high in salute,
To my old friend Problem who has finally gotten the boot.

Author: Chris G. Gonna be a problem. From the

Author: Sam M.

We meet again my vicious friends…
It’s been a while thought I was changing my style
Still I needed you that is no denial
Life constantly flows like the Nile
Everyone knows if I’m ill it’s you who I dial
Can never be true as I bundle my shit up in a pile
Out the door I try to go
You’re pissed I’m face down on the floor I know
I laugh then crack a joke
Pick myself up see change fuck I’m broke
I don’t fit in I hang with different folk
Hitting rails I pluck my guitar with a deadly stroke On edge so I shoot before I smoke
With death I’m flirting puking between burping Head in the toilet I’m hurting
Craving a buzz so I’m slurring
Later driving to cop lost in thought severely swerving
If I’m being honest the chaos looked good in the pot I’m stirring
My mistake I don’t abide I try an hide it with a tarp Is this real or fake on either side when failure cuts it’s sharp
If offered I take
Inhale the life in my heart that’s beginning to break Quickly kicking in “numbing” the pain as I shake
The come down vibe is gasping treading water in a bottomless lake
Puzzled thoughts as I keep up the doggy paddle for my daughters sake
I’ve no preserver I see a demon I yell “No I will not dessert her”
Proceed to decline last year was a blur
Fuck this chaos I ain’t having her lick the spoon right after I stir
I snap back…
I realize I’m losing to this demon
Farther I fall soon to be sleeping
After I’ll interact with objects to show y’all I’m speaking
Pitch black I fall deeper and deeper
Feels like I’m on a track blowing the lead to a sleeper or second half Atlanta losing big with no fans on a singular bleacher…I black out…
Hypothetically speaking to my Mother screaming are you proud of your oldest
“Son you have a warm heart but strut around the coldest five foot ten but forever pulling sticks that keep you the shortest”
Mom’s a heavily educated nurse see at the time medically she fought and prayed the younger me received help to a certain degree…
I can see the light
Been doing wrong so long this feels right
Then my eyes dart open…
I picture staring at my soul
The body’s way of trickery when there’s a taste of charcoal
Ranting and raving “I’m no longer a healthy host” Visions run wild of me taking the form of a ghost
I feel my heart barely skipping
The devil gained a resident I hear snickering
The demon says “sit down and reflect on the precious time you’ll be missing”
His evil face inching closer I’m scared shitless
Then out from the abyss with an angel as my witness I engaged fight or flight in an instant
A stern voice is now speaking “Your last chance too much time you’ve been stealing constant agony the opposite of relieving Sam hurt is necessary when you’re healing”
My head shoots through that blue ceiling
Chest filling with air it’s so appealing
Now whispers of an early death refrain from speaking
I reach land glance back at the deadly pair fading Courageously I 180 a pencil to practice erasing…Life is a rough draft continuously proofread floating on a poorly designed raft…
For me that’s heard at a different volume..
I keep myself on the forefront
When I unwelcome the generous offer of a shortcut
Irrelevant when I hear them judge
Carnage behind me it’s okay to hold that grudge
Numb to insults I will never budge
Knowing what spews out they mouth leaves a trail of sludge…
This is forever everyday I’m getting better I step outside regardless of terrible weather look up and thank God that we doing this together

When life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave them wondering…lastly I ask…a moment of silence for the still sick and suffering

Author: Sam M. We meet again my vicious