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Treatment Programs

Author: Denise G.

Even Here, In Rehab

Even here, in rehab
Where different devils
Manifest so freely, where pain
Walks openly, seeping from
The pores of the lost and the broken,
Even here, there is hope.

Hope comes with another cigarette break
“Smoke Break!” chiming through the halls
the sweetest of words. There is the smoke
of laughter, swirling around our demons.
We all burst out laughing as they dance.

Even here, in rehab
Where millionaires break bread with
The homeless.
There is joy. It comes with strawberry ice cream
A delicious victory for a raging alcoholic.

Even here, there is love
Streaming through the battered veins of a forlorn
drug addict.

The human spirit
Refusing to give up.
Even here, in rehab.

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Author: Denise G. Even Here, In Rehab Even here,

Art Gallery, Personal Journeys, Poetry, Spiritual Recovery

Author: Ron H.

Excuse me, but I think someone needs to be in charge here.

Who needs to be in charge?

If I knew that I wouldn’t have asked you.

In charge of what?

Not in charge of what. In charge of who.

You think “someone” needs to be in charge of who, exactly?

In charge of me.

Oh. Why is that? Are you disturbed?

To be honest sometimes I am. I’m a recovering addict.

That sounds like a good thing.

Oh, it is, but someone needs to be in charge. You’re part of me, so I thought you could remind me who that is.

That’s right, you’re right; I am part of you. Sorry, slipped my mind. I know the answer. Our higher power is in charge of our recovery.

Of course, right you are. We say, “Not my will, but thy will be done.”

That’s it, yes! You’ve got it, or, we’ve got it now. Good show.

Alright then. Well, thank you.

You’re very welcome. Glad to help.

I just needed to talk to someone.

No bother at all. Keep coming back.

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Author: Ron H. Excuse me, but I think

Poetry

Author: Dianne B.

What’s in the mug, I wonder—
He stumbles from the room.
Moving close, I hold my breath
Putting my hands over Raggedy Ann’s
Stitched mouth and triangle nose, fearful
It might do to us what it does to him—
The smelly brown liquid.
Why?
Why drink something
That smells like the cleaner mom uses
Only for the bathroom.
It takes my breath away when she does.
I stare down into the mug until I have to breathe.
Crash!
I don’t flinch.
Neither does Ann.
The rubber tree plant falls into view,
Dirt spiling out of the pot.
Then him trying to steady himself,
On the door frame.
He trips toward me.
Eyes of fire and glass,
Green like the shaggy rug.
He pats my head
Missing and hitting my ear
Plopping in his seat.
He drinks it—
The smelly brown liquid.
Why?

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Author: Dianne B. What’s in the mug, I

Poetry, Spiritual Recovery

Author: Adrian P.

He is
Here.

With me
In my place of
Peace?

He is
Here
With me
Through the most
‘devil’
Of
Nights

He is here
In comfort
With me
In addiction.

And
Utter
Depression.

He is here with
Me.
My family
And one lover
My ‘real’
Friends

That
Person is
Here
Now.

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Author: Adrian P. He is Here. With me In my place

Poetry

By Uri Hotchberg

Where Am I
Is this rock bottom
What did I do to deserve this
Why is this happening
Just kill me

There is so much pain
Anger, shame, and guilt
Resentment, fear, and hopelessness
Darkness it’s so dark
Its to dark
There is no light at the end
I’d rather be dead

Isolation is my comfort zone
Love there is none
Not for myself
Not for anyone else
Care- it left my existence
Soul- I have none
Emptiness- I am so empty

Hope- there is none
Dreams- it leads to pain
Decisions- all bad
Emotions- I don’t want to feel
Happy- I am consumed with sadness

So many scars
Hurt many people
Really hurt my family
To many sins
And terrible things
What’s wrong with me
I hate myself

Is it a disease
Was I born with it
Did someone create it
Did I create it
Is there a cure
Is there medicine
How do I get rid of it

Repress it
Bury it
Deep deep
Make it go away
I don’t want to feel it anymore
Self-medicate

Alcohol, drugs that should work
It works till it doesn’t work
Its my way of life
The only way to manage life
Cant get out
Don’t want to get out
Need more more more
It has to work

Its not working
There has to be another way
But I’m not worth it
I don’t deserve it
I shouldn’t be forgiven
I’m not a good person
I have nothing to offer

Choice- decision
Live or die
Happy or sad
Joy or anger
Hope or hopelessness
Forgive myself or live in shame
Dream or fear
Love or hate

I am strong
I can choose
If I love
I can be loved
I can accept what I cant change
I can change what I can
Myself

Take a risk
Let someone in
Give from my heart
Help and to be helped
My love can help you
Your love can help me
My love can help me
I am worth it

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By Uri Hotchberg Where Am I Is this rock

Poetry

Author: Kristy R.

Just another one, os all it takes for my brain to give in. For all the hard work I have put into being sober and starting my new path to be taken away. Just another one, is what can bring me down to my knees to ask God to make me strong enough to fight this voice inside my head.

Just another one, is my runaway thought when I’m overwhelmed or my anxiety is too much to handle. Just another one,Is why I’ve been numb for as long as I can remember blocking all the noise my brain would make.

Just another one,Is why I would lay in bed awake watching time go by and never knowing why I did this to myself. The day I stopped listening to that voice say Just another one,Is when I learned this is not okay.

I have to be stronger then myself, stronger then my cravings, strong enough to know to live in this world of evil with my babies I need to be completely aware of everything completely sober to be able to watch them grow and protect them with everything thing inside of me.

Every time I just took another one I let myself and my children down I was not able to be the mother they needed I couldn’t properly raise them or protect them because I was so numb to everything in this world.

Without another one I can keep striving for the best me possible and learning how to get there without being numb. It’s not easy and never will be but Just another one is not in my dictionary anymore! I have replaced it with you can’t not be numb!

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Author: Kristy R. Just another one, os all

Poetry

Author: Brittany M.

Overwhelmed, feeling exhausted.

Never ending tasks that never get started.

It’s  like one step forward – five steps back

Only focus then was finding which vein to track.

With the flash of blood and the push of the plunger

You filled me, like I was starving from hunger.

Steady with the pull, you made me euphoric.

Who would have known how many blessings you’d make me forfeit.

I won’t lie, you helped me get through a great deal of pain;

But keeping you around now, just won’t be the same.

I put you before my relationship, my family, my freedom, and my daughter.

I had a full academic scholarship, I should’ve been smarter.

By God’s grace I have a chance to redeem my life.

I’m going to get my shit together peacefully, without any of your bullshit or strife.

I’m looking forward to freedom in the rest of my days

But don’t get it twisted – I’ll always think of you, but in my past you will stay.

I forgive you for blinding my judgement, making me believe you were a treat

This go around, the only ups and downs I want to face is in between the sheets.

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Author: Brittany M. Overwhelmed, feeling exhausted. Never ending tasks

Poetry

Author: Melissa S.

I said I’d never find you,
Who knew that would be a lie
I knew what you could do,
So now I ask myself why?

I felt so alone,
You promised me comfort
In that first bowl
Who knew what I’d suffer

One was too many,
A thousand wasn’t enough
This new beginning
Was already to much

It hid behind a mask
I didn’t see it coming
In a trance by the music
It seemed to be strumming

This is my story
Who knew it’d be so sad
I only saw the glory
Blind to all the bad

I no longer felt so blue
This should have been a sign
Instead Everything I knew
Flew from my mind

One hit
Brought me comfort
One shot
Brought me to life

Nothing seemed wrong
Consequences I couldn’t see
All my pain was gone
I felt so free

There could never be a romance
Like yours and mine
The way that we dance
They call crazy in my mind

No love could compare
Your Always there
I can see the despair
I know it’s not fair

You damaged my life
Corrupted my soul
This is my fight
To repair on my own

I need to find me
So please let me go
Its time for me to truly be free
No longer for you to hold

Once you were my choice
Then you became my habit
Now I’ve found my voice
I’m recovering not an addict
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Author: Melissa S. I said I’d never find

Poetry, Spiritual Recovery

Author: Frankie O.

Awake in the morning
Starts a new day
No fear on awakening
Is the start of today’s play

Doors without locks
Unbarred windows
Comfy sheets clean and dry
I didn’t wake and start to cry

Fish in the fish tank
Birdsong received
A prayer in the morning
Is what I perceive

It says that I am thankful
It asks for his help
To be grateful for his mercy
Kind to them I might help

Coffee in the morning
Maybe even toast
Not gagging in the bathroom
With that mirror’s awful roast

The van is on the driveway
It’s insured it’s even taxed
Who knew the time just flew
Van is even waxed

I am great full to be me today
I wouldn’t have thought there would come a day
When great-full words
Would be mine to say

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Author: Frankie O. Awake in the morning Starts a

Personal Journeys

Author: Samuel W. Asselstine

I wait for her as the sun rises high,

She is not here,

I see her from afar,

She is gone as before,

Little notice and without a thought,

She takes her Love,

And shares herself with so many, yet

I miss her so dearly.

I wait for her as people eat breakfast,

She dines but no longer with me,

I see her in a car,

I see her in a store, and with

Little notice and without a thought,

She has left me for so many, yet still

I miss her so dearly.

She makes me Lie,

And she makes me steal,

She makes me beg,

She makes me kneel,

She makes me hurt,

She makes me cry, and with

Little notice and without a thought

She leaves me for so many,

Why would I miss her so dearly?

I think of her at night,

She doesn’t sleep,

She wakes me up, to check and see,

If she can have just one more spin with me,

There is no such thing as never,

Just not right now please,

I can find her when i want, and she’ll take me,

And everyone else in the way,

She’ll make me happy but not even for a day,

So, I decide when she’s with me,

Not the other way.

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Author: Samuel W. Asselstine I wait for her