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Poetry

Author: Kristy R.

Just another one, os all it takes for my brain to give in. For all the hard work I have put into being sober and starting my new path to be taken away. Just another one, is what can bring me down to my knees to ask God to make me strong enough to fight this voice inside my head.

Just another one, is my runaway thought when I’m overwhelmed or my anxiety is too much to handle. Just another one,Is why I’ve been numb for as long as I can remember blocking all the noise my brain would make.

Just another one,Is why I would lay in bed awake watching time go by and never knowing why I did this to myself. The day I stopped listening to that voice say Just another one,Is when I learned this is not okay.

I have to be stronger then myself, stronger then my cravings, strong enough to know to live in this world of evil with my babies I need to be completely aware of everything completely sober to be able to watch them grow and protect them with everything thing inside of me.

Every time I just took another one I let myself and my children down I was not able to be the mother they needed I couldn’t properly raise them or protect them because I was so numb to everything in this world.

Without another one I can keep striving for the best me possible and learning how to get there without being numb. It’s not easy and never will be but Just another one is not in my dictionary anymore! I have replaced it with you can’t not be numb!

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Author: Kristy R. Just another one, os all

Poetry, Spiritual Recovery, Treatment Programs

You never would’ve believed it!
Just yesterday I was getting high.
Now I’m in this church dressed in white.
Flowers everywhere…it’s blowing my mind.
Funny how things can change in one night.
I used to be the Fentanyl Queen,
the pill chaser….a heroin fiend.
I admit my addiction had me down.
But I knew eventually , I’d come around.
Who would’ve believed it?
Looks like I’m about to tie the knot.
I swear last night was my last damn shot.
I mean it this time. I’m staying clean.
Just goes to show…never lose your dreams.
Me and my man are finally saying “I do.”
After marriage who knows? I may go back to school.
My family and friends came just to see me.
It’s all so surreal.  There isn’t one empty seat!
Nobody would believe it!
I’m out of pills and I don’t care.
I feel a change…like I’m walking on air.
My dad is crying.  I guess he’s afraid.
He doesn’t want to give his little girl away.
I have to go see him.  Why does he keep looking down?
I hope my man doesn’t see my wedding gown.
But halfway there my body goes numb.
I’m struck with guilt.  What have I done?
As I get closer I’m pained at the sight,
of my dad devastated, as he tells me goodbye.
Can you believe this?
My Cold feet and heart freeze my path.
I look down and see what he was looking at.
Then I realize it’s not my wedding day.
My family and friends aren’t here to celebrate.
It seems I’m here as my own guest,
to watch them lay me down to rest.
Just yesterday I was getting high.
Now I’m in this church dressed in white….
I never would’ve believed it.

 

Author: Tamara

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You never would’ve believed it! Just yesterday I