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Step Two

We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

The process of coming to believe is something that addicts seem to experience in similar ways. One thing most of them lacked was a working relationship with a Higher Power.

It is quite likely that, before coming to a 12 Step Program, addicts never believed in any power but their own willpower, and that had failed them. 12 Step Programs introduce them to a new understanding.

They draw hope from this understanding and begin to comprehend what it means to believe that a power greater than themselves can restore them to sanity. They find additional hope by listening to other recovering addicts. They can relate to where they’ve been and draw hope from who they’ve become.

They listen closely at meetings and become willing to apply what they hear to their own lives. As they begin to believe that there is hope for them, they also begin to trust the process of recovery.

They begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a Power greater than themselves. Most of them have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in their lives.

Their best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point they realized they needed the help of some Power greater than their addiction. Their understanding of a Higher Power is up to them.

No one is going to decide for them. They can call it the group, the program, or they can call it God. The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than themselves.

They don’t have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that they open their minds to believe. They may have difficulty with this, but by keeping an open mind, sooner or later, they find the help they need.

As addicts approach Step Two, they can practice the principle of honesty by acknowledging and sharing what they do or don’t believe about a Power greater than themselves. Developing their openmindedness requires some effort, but they can practice this principle by listening to other recovering addicts share how they came to believe.

Step Two We came to believe that a

I was thinking about Nathan when it happened.

It was January 2018. I sat in a small room in my company’s office, in utter despair.

The reasons were numerous – my inability to help Nathan, a close friend who was dying of brain cancer. My growing six-figure student loan debt, my drug addiction, my four years of hard work with little to show for it financially, immense pressure from my company and live-in girlfriend. Everything.

I felt myself breaking. So I did something I had never attempted before.

I called out to God. Audibly.

“God, what can I do in 2018 to make this year better? To change my life?” I asked, with tears streaming down my face.

I heard the words.

“Laugh more. Love yourself.”

Heard them.

“Laugh more. Love yourself.”

The voice was not a voice, in the human sense of the word.

It was like hearing a clap of thunder through a storm, as those words flashed through my brain.

That’s the best I can describe it.

Flash forward to January 2019. Everything had changed.

I was drug free. Healthier and fitter. Living in a new city with a new job. My student loan debt was suddenly manageable. The pressures of work and my girlfriend were lifted.

I was starting to love myself.

Nathan passed away from Stage 4 Glioblastoma in January 2019.

The night of Nathan’s funeral, there was a massive reunion of old friends and coworkers. His passing doubled as an opportunity to reconnect with close friends I hadn’t seen in years.

Nathan’s wife took a a picture of me that night. I had no clue she took it until she posted it on Instagram a few days later.

It’s the first picture of me laughing in years.

I was thinking about Nathan when it

Thanks to Jodie G. for submitting this beautiful poem.

Shame, guilt, remorse,

Could I possibly feel any worse?

Anger, resentment, pain,

Coursing through my veins.

 

Prisoner of disease,

Crawling on my knees.

Please help me, I mumble,

In the dark I do stumble.

 

Looking for the light,

So far out of sight.

Feeding my addiction at all cost,

All hope is lost.

 

Spiritually bankrupt,

Feeling completely stuck.

Unable to hide

Behind my mountain of false pride.

 

Pain is so great,

I begin to suffocate.

Fear mounting so high,

I think I might die.

 

Then a hand reaches out,

To me, one so full of doubt.

Saying “why don’t you try our way?”

Just for today.

 

Shaken, hopeless, and beaten,

I attended the meeting.

Inside I found warmth and laughter,

A sense of being together.

 

One day, one step at a time,

Out of the pit I began to climb.

Trembling along the way,

Hoping for a new day.

 

Then the miracle happened,

The chains were broken.

Freedom and happiness at last,

No longer prisoner of the past.

 

Spiritual connection made,

No reason to be afraid.

The amazing gift of sobriety,

So freely given to me.

 

For this I will forever be,

A grateful addict in recovery.

For all who still suffer,

Just know you can recover!

Thanks to Jodie G. for submitting this

Thanks to Jodie G. for submitting this piece.

So, I woke up today (my usual cheerful self in the mornings🥴), letting a snarled “good morning” out from under my breath.

Went about my morning, had some prayer and meditation, played with my puppy, and tried wiping the sleep from my eyes.

Here’s what I know about today. Today is all I have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

So for today, I know this: Today I walk a free woman. Not in the sense many of you may think, but in the spiritual sense.

For years I lived in a dark place, suffocating inside my own skin, silently dying inside.

What I felt: Lost. Hopeless. Angry. Resentful. Hurt. Shame. Guilt. Defensive. Misery.

What I tried to portray: Happy. Confident. Successful.

The lie lasted for far too long, until my insides spilled out onto the outside.

It was then, when I felt broken beyond repair that a HAND reached out. What I had left to bring was a smidge of willingness. The doors were wide open.

I slithered (if you will) through the doors. It has taken time for all the shattered pieces to be picked up and repaired, but inside the workshop the miracle transpired. Inside the workshop, this broken woman was lovingly repaired.

I have true friends today, and even more surprising, I can be that true friend to someone else.

I can look people in their eyes. I can admit my wrongs.

I can know that my God is there and will lovingly guide me through this life.

I can genuinely smile today.

I can laugh, and more importantly, I can cry and not feel shame for doing so.

I can FEEL. I can feel happiness, sadness, pain, frustration, anger, and so much more. I no longer need to stuff the feelings I ran from for so long.

I can accept that I am human, and in being so, I am NOT nor will I ever be perfect.

I can accept my flaws and in doing so, I can be aware of them and can ask for help with overcoming them ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I can journey through this walk called life and know that I AM NOT ALONE.

These are the miracles that have happened to me.

I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

I have a relationship with God today that I didn’t think was possible for me. I

f you or anyone you know is struggling with something, just know you are not beyond help.

You are loved. You are worthy of grace. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy. All you have to do is reach out and ask.

Thanks to Jodie G. for submitting this

We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction; that our lives had become unmanageable:

In this step, you face the reality of your addiction and come to terms with the fact that your life is out of control. You are preparing yourself to receive the help you need.

The First Step – An Action Step

As an addict begins working the First Step, it is important to ask themselves some basic personal questions: “Do I understand that I have no real control over drugs?”  Am I willing to stop using? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to recover?

At first, many addicts may have thought the First Step required no action-they just surrender and go on to Step Two. But Step One does require action!

If they faithfully practice these principles, they will transform their perceptions and the way they live their lives. Surrender is only the beginning. Once they surrender, they need to learn how to live in the peace they have found.

Powerlessness

Our using is a mental obsession, a physical compulsion and a spiritual self-centeredness – which is progressive, incurable, and can be fatal unless arrested. The addict lives in denial of these facts.

Obsession, for the addict, is the never-ending stream of thoughts relating to using drugs, running out of drugs, getting more drugs, and so on. They simply can’t get these thoughts out of their minds.

The physical compulsion is caused by their physical addiction to the substances once we start using them again. Their self-centeredness is what occurs when they are trapped in this viscious mental obession and physical compulsion.

The minute an addict admits their powerless, they never have to use again.

When they honestly admit their powerlessness over their addiction, they can begin the search for a better way to live.

First Step and Isolation

The First Step begins with “we”, and there’s a reason for that. When addicts go to meetings and make this admission, they gain more than personal strength. They become members, part of a collective “we” that allows them, together, to recover from their addiction.

They realized that they couldn’t stop using drugs on their own. Addiction is an isolating disease, closing them off from society, family, and self. They hid. They lied. They scorned the lives they saw others living, surely beyond their grasp. Their lives lost meaning, and they withdrew further and further from reality.

Surrender

Addicts come into treatment and recovery as broken individuals. They posssibly can be morally, spiritually, physically and financially bankrupt. In the acknowledgement of those facts, they can surrender and know that victory lies in the admission of defeat.

They begin to believe on a deep level that they, too, can recover. They begin to let go of their doubts and truly come to terms with their disease. They become open to change. They surrender.

Not that surrender is always easy. On the contrary, surrender can be difficult, especially in the beginning.  And the more they surrender, the easier it gets.

Unmanageable Lives

Some addicts realized their lives had become unmanageable because they felt out of control emotionally or began to feel guilty about their drug use. Some lost everything— homes, families, jobs, and  self respect. Some spent time in jails and institutions. And some have come very close to death.

Their unmanageable actions and thoughts will be replaced by spiritual principles and way of life:

Something inside them tells them they have had enough of a damaged and tragic life. They are ready to take that first and often most difficult step toward dealing with their disease.”  

We admitted that we were powerless over

Narcotics Anonymous is a global, community-based organization with a multilingual and multicultural membership. NA was founded in 1953, and members hold nearly 67,000 meetings weekly in 139 countries today.

What is the NA Program

What Is the Narcotics Anonymous Program? NA is a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs.

There is only one requirement for membership, the desire to stop using. We suggest that you keep an open mind and give yourself a break. Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. The most important thing about them is that they work.

There are no strings attached to NA. We are not affiliated with any other organizations. We have no initiation fees or dues, no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone. We are not connected with any political, religious, or law enforcement groups, and are under no surveillance at any time. Anyone may join us regardless of age, race, sexual identity, creed, religion, or lack of religion.

We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help.

The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean.

https://www.rehabcenter.net/what-are-the-twelve-steps-of-narcotics-anonymous/

Narcotics Anonymous is a global, community-based organization