Beautiful Disaster

Author: Savanna Tufts

Behind her bright eyes was a mind full of fear

She hid that pain well, barely ever shed a tear

Her smile hid a heart full of hurt but she still had a laugh like no one else

She cared for everyone in the world, everyone except for herself

She took the wrong road, that speed limit growing faster

The progression was excessive, she was a beautiful disaster

That smile would fade and that laugh would disappear

Her mind growing foggy and her thoughts now unclear

Her conscience being drained, and her sense of belonging was gone

Impulsive and unable to differentiate the right from the wrong

Being stripped of who she is, that beauty turning into a beast

Her innocence transformed and a monster would unleash

Unrecognizable from the woman that she once used to be

She needed a glimpse of hope to realize that she had to dig deep

And reach into her soul and find within herself that little girl

The one that would once smile in public and it would light up the world

To teach her that she doesn’t need to be scared, give her the strength she never had

Tell her that she can remain pure in a world that is brimming with bad

To let her know that it doesn’t matter who she became, only who she becomes now

She can turn that beast back to beauty, if she would let some faith in and allow

Allow positivity in and surround herself with like-mind others

That have the same goals as her, that way she no longer suffers

With an everyday obsession to rid herself of her truth

To stuff the pain and hurt that she keeps bottled in from her youth

To grow and let go of those that keep holding her back

That keep dragging her down and blocking her light so it’s black

Darkness is debilitating and it keeps her from leaping toward

Her dreams, and It hurts her, but their stagnant and she has got to flow forward

Cuz if she doesn’t heal what hurt her, she will bleed on those those that didn’t cut her

Trapped in a cocoon, blocking metamorphosis from happening so her wings cannot flutter

And that will fill her up with shame and remorse and strip her of her happy ever after

And her beautiful success story would end, once again, a beautiful disaster

Author: Savanna Tufts Behind her bright eyes was

Unnatural Disaster

Author: Savanna Tufts

My bottled up feelings boil up and like a volcano they eventually erupt

I impulsively pick up and start burning everything that I touch

These cravings engulf me, as if they were a  tidal wave

They master and control me, like I am their vital slave

Like a sink hole, my face descends and begins to concave

My eyes deeply sunken in, like a skeleton in a grave

Like a tornado, I spiral, and start destroying everything in my path

When I can’t get what I want, you know you’ll hear my wrath

Relapse after relapse and another mistake after mistake

Breaking my heart and my home, like there was an earthquake

The thoughts of my past flow in rapid, like there is a flood

Ruining the lives of my friends and the lives of my blood

This disease steals all of my light, as if it were an eclipse

I got some tools to stop, but my belt isn’t fully equip

Some people claim it’s not a disease, and ignorance is bliss

Will this be the death of us all, like there’s an apocalypse

Like a hurricane, addiction is cruel and a force

You have to let each relapse just run it’s course

As we let a natural disaster run the course that they do

Cuz if intervened you don’t know what might ensue

The overwhelming fear and remorse rumbling in my mind like thunder

Sometimes so unbearable I think I’d be better off six feet under

I wish they could just shock my head with a bolt of lightning

So I could have a normal brain instead of one that is frightening

I’m afraid of my own thoughts and my life starts to crumble, that’s erosion

It’s blowing up every bit of my persona, now that’s an explosion

Coating my character like rust on metal, now that’s some corrosion

Every single hope and dream I’ve had shattered, like an implosion

I’ve got to pump the breaks and start moving slower, not faster

Because I’ve got to stop living my life like an unnatural disaster

Author: Savanna Tufts My bottled up feelings boil