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I open my eyes and am terrified by what I see.
I am trapped and don’t know where I am supposed to be.
This is a nightmare, this is happening.
It chokes me, my heart is blackening.

I have been captured, kidnapped.
Head held underwater, collapsed.
It smiles at me, it knows it has won.
Gasped my last breath, its work here is done.

It had me for years and I did not fight.
I let it take me over, convinced myself it’s right.

It let go today, I watched the water drain.
Fresh air envelops me, I release the pain.
My fire sparks, I am reunited with reality.
I poured the rest of the rum in the black sea.

I open my eyes and am blessed with what I see.
I am free, where I should be.
This is a clear blue sky, this is what I’ve been missing.
It is a new day. This is living.

I open my eyes and am terrified

In a room where whispers cling to the walls,
A figure collapses as the darkness calls.
Windows to the soul, reflecting the pain,
A heart once wild, now shackled and drained
Each pill a tempting lure, calling my name like its a cure,
Conceal the truth in a game of shame.
I swallowed the hope. As I chased the light,
But shadows linger, Hiding in fright.
Ghosts of laughter echo through time,
Faded memories wrapped in smudges.
The world outside is now a distant blur,
As I chase the high, I begin to stir
But deep in chaos, a whisper remains,
A moment of clarity amongst these chains.
For even in Hell, there’s strength to reclaim,
To rise from the ashes and break free from the game.

In a room where whispers cling to

What are you burning
I think it’s your soul
You’re breathing in smoke
That won’t fill the hole

And when you breathe out
Your chemical pain
Your heart is still bleeding
Just numb just the same

Emptiness comes
You know it so well
The hour of nothingness
Then breaking the spell

Dead ends and grey roads
You’ve been here before
Run whil you still can
Then run on some more

Escape this distraction
It doesn’t exist
You’ll get back the love
The love that you missed

And one day you’ll look back
Look back and see
You rose up from nothing
And you will be free.

What are you burning I think it's your

Theft by Deception

Welcome to Hell
I feel like Heaven
I’ll feed your head with lies
Just one more time, you won’t die
It was fun at first, what we had
But it sure didn’t take long for it to go bad
It’s just me and you now
You’ll find yourself asking how?
How did I get here?
The drug brought upon all of my biggest fears
But it tells me that it’s not the reason
So I’ll keep getting high for just one more season
But just one more never seems like enough
I promise everyone I’m done and they call my bluff
One day you’ll realize it’s not like it was
Everyone’s life went on while yours came to a pause
But now it’s all I have left
It’s just me and the drug
What have I done?
I look up and realize how big of a hole I’ve dug

jfz

Theft by Deception Welcome to Hell I feel like

Name Is Narcotic

My name is Narcotic, and I bring no peace,
I’ll enter your life and never release.
With patience, I wait, silent and sly,
Until you invite me to stand by your side.

I’ll start with your family—that’s my first mark,
I’ll extinguish their love and leave only dark.
You’ll try to resist, think you’re still in control,
But I’ll strip you of hope and shatter your soul.

I’ll make it seem easy, just one little taste,
And slowly I’ll lead you to ruin and waste.
The life you once cherished will crumble and fall,
And you’ll barely remember it at all.

The sadness you feel? That’s my design,
I promised destruction, and now you are mine.
The voices you hear, the chaos inside,
Are all part of me—I’ll never subside.

I’ll walk beside you through sorrow and pain,
Through sleepless nights and moments of shame.
You’ll think of the times you could’ve said no,
But now you’re lost in the depths below.

Those innocent faces, your reason to fight,
Are now left in the shadow of your endless night.
They were your purpose, your guiding light,
But you let me steal them out of your sight.

You’ll ask yourself why, if it was worth the cost,
If anything gained was worth what you lost.
But don’t blame me—I didn’t force your hand,
You opened the door and let me command.

Now, I’m your shadow, your master, your chain,
Feeding on your sorrow, thriving on pain.
I didn’t break through; I didn’t invade,
You sought me out, and the choice was made.

As you lie in the dark, alone with your dread,
It’s my voice, not theirs, that lives in your head.
Not laughter, not love, not hope or light,
Only regret in the endless night.

You could’ve been stronger, turned me away,
Kept your life whole, but you let me stay.
Now I’m a part of you, forever entwined,
The destroyer of hope, the thief of your mind.

My name is Narcotic; I’ve won, and you’ve lost,
I thrive in your ruin, no matter the cost.
I’ll stay by your side till your final breath,
For I am the shadow that drags you to death

Name Is Narcotic My name is Narcotic, and

Coming Clean

No one else can know,
my secret safe with only me,
yet paranoid at my transparency,
everyone must recognize my vices
that I just can’t live without,
taking over my body, my mind.
I’m caught in a bubble, seen by all,
chasing highs.

Deadly game that is played to tragic end,
and the hooked take the risk, always
addiction is the master,
instructions to self-destruct,

and I make sure
you don’t know my hiding places,
paraphernalia out of sight,
sudden excuses to leave tip you off,
and I overlook subtle clues
that you pass, just obvious enough
to let me know that you know,
and it squeezes your heart,
while my heart is numb.

Madcap behavior I can’t ignore forever,
I confess my violation of your trust,
You respond, “It’s about time.”
Feeling foolish I ask, “You’ve been waiting
for me to be ready to come clean?”
You respond with tear falling, “No, I’ve been waiting
for you to be ready to get clean.”

I don’t know how to do this,
the insidious obsession feels impossible to beat,
and now seeking clean life,
I’ve never faced a more difficult fight.

Coming Clean No one else can know, my secret

Wraiths

We are the wraiths floating above Embracing the ghosts of our chemical love

We are ones, you’re not sure you see Hiding in shadows that you can’t perceive

We search out the alleys, the cut- throughs, the lanes

Industrial bridges who call out our names

Waiting for runners: “When did he leave?”

Bring us the air that only we breathe Broken glass vials and sharp metal pins Empty and deadly but smiling within Our obvious secrets betrayed in our

eyes Our scars and our tracks the meaning-

ful lies

So we’ll stand in your judgment be- cause we are the grey In your black and white world and the brightness of day

And these wraiths are my friends now I choose not to leave and walk on down dark tracks

Refusing to grieve

What are you burning

I think it’s your soul

You’re breathing in smoke

That won’t fill the hole

And when you breathe out

Your chemical pain

Your heart is still bleeding

Just numb from the pain

Emptiness comes

You know it so well

The hour of nothingness

Then breaking the spell

Dead ends and grey roads

You’ve been here before

Run whil you still can

Then run on some more

Escape this distraction

It doesn’t exist

You’ll get back the love

The love that you missed

And one day you’ll look back

Look back and see

You rose up from nothing

And you will be free.

Wraiths We are the wraiths floating above Embracing

They come into the rooms.
Moving through the cigarette haze.
Dropped ash and littered ground.

That first step inside is the hardest.
Palms are clasped with knowing eyes.
Then maybe a nod, hug, fist bump.

The rooms are always old.
Odor of water-stained ceiling tiles.
Walls of worn painter’s beige.

They hold cups with trembling hands.
Someone pours liquid speed.
The taste of cheap stale coffee.

Walk past a clock.
Glance at the sign of steps.
Hung high so all can see.

Find a creaky chair, near the exit.
Phones turned off and purses tucked away.
A throat is cleared.

Scared of the microphone on the table.
They shudder with fear.
Silence is their false armor.

Hoping someone else will read.
Maybe someday they will share.
A piece of themselves.

They are cheats, deceivers, selfish.
They are everyone and nobody.
By creed, they have no name.

They come into the rooms.
For help, for redemption, for time, for answers.
For life.

They come into the rooms.

They come into the rooms. Moving through the

ODE TO JUNK

“Come to the shooting gallery –
Today poison is mellow –
Get your stuff, get your stuff!”
And she boots me till I Glow
Insatiable, I can’t get enough
Like a vampire needing blood
I then try some angel dust
Receiving my orgasmic jolt and
A slave to cosmic contraband
In love with chemical lust
Speedballing fast and flying high
Through the clouds to kiss the sky
Thanks to the dealer in this grotshop
On whom I so rely
And I never miss a drop
Not much later I pop some acid
Gliding away on a terrific trip
Into space and out of sight
Captain Cosmos and I’m only a kid
But free-er than you at this height
And with my free-base extraction kit
A neophyte inhaling snow
Exploring virgin territory
Coke, I sure am crying for it
And my mind it sure does blow
And with pupils like pin-points
I put away my clotted needle
Yes I’m booted and bullet-proof
And enjoying two juicy joints
And floating slowly through the roof
I’ll cop again in three hours
Ketamine and Nitazenes
Infused through core pills
Fentanyl, Vicadin
And OxyContin
Close all window-sills
Hip hallucinations a hit away
Living only for that score
When I’ll again receive party powers
But I’m needing more and more
Now fleshing out Krokodil
Synthetically morphing my escape
Who knows what life it kills
During a green and scaly foray
Hope this dope don’t croak my escape
As I face my foul decay
Meet my friend, a fixer chick
As we hustle Johns on the side
Because we need the extra loot
For enough to get the same kick
When we score again and shoot
We do Johns at Toilet Swallow
It’s a pity about my herpes
But we crave cash for a gram
Especially now, I’m feeling so low
And for a fix I give a damn
Sweating while coughing black phlegm and blood
The withdrawal pangs of cold turkey
With a slight case of jaundice
In the mirror my alien face is crud
But you get used to it with practice
One more John and I’ll have the cash
To score a little ‘ice’ cream
And maybe a bit of hash
Some ego food for this funky dude
My desire so extremely lewd
Again I withdraw my rusted syringe
A certifiable narcissist on heat
Yes baby, this is a spacial binge
As I receive that supercharged flash
And loving my effigy, burning to ash
Smugglers, lookouts, baggers, and pushers
Heroin, snow, crystal-meth and cappis
Bongs, burners, needles and spoons
Fixers, snorters, draggers and poppers
And we all keep singing their tunes
They say it’s so diabolic
That I should be a coke-a-holic
But how the hell would they know
About ego-rushes so euphoric
If they’ll never have a go?
So it’s a dirty and dangerous trade
But the bribed cops wouldn’t dare raid
We coke-heads thrive on it
Stuff you, it’s a junkie’s element
So don’t bug me you mothers – relent!
Losing my nasal membrane
A hole in the septum of my nose
As I visit the full-time snow-brokers
For another relief from pain
Yeah, I sure do need those jokers
Nearly there, thanks to quite a good day
Doing Johns, must’ve turned twenty tricks
And all of them were condoned
Now heaps of death with which to pay
For lots of smack to get me stoned
Aspirins and cola gives you quite a buzz
Or so they used to say
Went to the loo and pee’d
And soon afterwards O.D.’d
Forgetting goodbyes – futile fatal seed.

DjMayhew

ODE TO JUNK "Come to the shooting gallery

Secrets kept and lies told
Fueling this hunger
Not yet ready to fold
You don’t know me
I’m just a memory
Of someone sane
Someone free
Stopped ignoring the tricks
I played before your eyes
You’re intent to uncover
What shit your mind buys
The old facade fading away
Left naked and vulnerable
You can see the decay
I fight it still
There’s more destruction within
I’m not a liar
But an addict with withering skin

Secrets kept and lies told Fueling this hunger Not