Working in addiction
Working in Addiction
I canโt be that bad, I still have a job,
I answer the phone and donโt look like a slob.
I shower each day and Iโm often on time,
And besides, no one knows, so I guess that Iโm fine.
But inside my head, my thoughts swirl like fire.
If only they knew what it was I desire?
With a fake smile on, I appear to fit in,
But I donโt feel at home within my own skin.
It takes all Iโve got just to get through the day,
Iโm running on fumes despite what I convey.
Iโm a slave to the bottle and Iโm dying inside.
โDonโt you dare tell a soul!โ says my ego and pride.
How did this happen? I once had it all!
I laughed, I had friends, back then life was a ball.
But all the bad stuff that I ever went through
Was pushed so far down and kept secret from you.
I wouldnโt let myself cry or feel any trauma,
I just auto-piloted through being a wife and a Momma.
But soon even that wasnโt enough to conceal
The flashbacks and pain that were becoming too real.
But alas alcohol could keep me on track,
(It was nice to know something at least had my back!)
Used to drink just on weekends while hanging with friends,
But in no time the means did not lead to the ends.
I drank more and more, both in frequency and amount
Soon my number of friends, on one hand I could count.
And my job is now hanging on by a tiny thread,
My weekends are spent hung over in bed.
Everythingโs spiraling out of control,
And keeping my job was my only goal,
But I sit at my desk and I stare at the screen
Then nip to the washroom, afraid to be seen
I take a quick sip for a momentโs relief
But even that moment gets more and more brief.
I still have a job, so Iโm under control
Now please go away while I try and act whole
May 2, 2024
Working in Addiction I canโt be that bad,